Stranger In Need
by theivydaggers
Summary: Introversion, Raspberry vodka, 'Never Have I Ever' and an emotional drunk misdial. Oh the joys of being Dan Howell. After getting sufficiently drunk at a party, Dan wakes up to find out he drunk dialled a stranger by the name of Phil while in an emotional mess. Someone kill him now. Rating will (probably) go up, warnings at the start of each chapter.
1. Raspberry Vodka is Not a Safe Bet

**Okay so…hello. I have returned from the grave. Idk why I haven't posted a lot. I think I just needed a LONG break from writing. It's not that I ****_haven't_**** been writing, it's just that I didn't like much of what I wrote, thus I didn't post it. I decided I wanted to write another fanfic about these two idiots, because 1. They are so natural to write and 2. I thoroughly dislike my****_ old _****fanfic of these two, and wanted to redo a pair I really liked. Hopefully you will enjoy, and if not eh, I tried.**

**Warnings: Alcohol, and language. **

It was roughly 11:45pm on a Friday evening. Why he wasn't at home was as much of a surprise to him as it was to everyone else at the party. Dan Howell: lover of good Chinese food, Kanye West, and who was so awkward and introverted that literally the _dog_ had a better chance at conversation here than he did.

Why on earth was he at this party again? He should be at home, watching YouTube, playing video games doing…not this.

Yet; plain as day, here he was; dressed and gussied up and feeling about a second away from either vomiting, crying or punching someone. Possibly all three at once.

His friends dragged him along to Jack's party. Supposedly it was meant to be pretty small, which is why they thought he might like it. Small, yeah right, this party easily had a hundred or so sober to smashed people between the ages of 17 to 22. And Dan, at the youthful age of 21, stood there in the corner looking like a fucking loser; a warm cup of (hopefully) beer in his hand and a phone out in the other, as he pretended to text. Incredible.

"Oh Dan _there_ you are! Thought you'd run away from the crowd. You alright?" Ramona nudged him gently in the side, and he looked over to see her flushed and cheerful face. Though obviously slightly tipsy, she still cared enough to check in on her friend. Dan liked Ramona.

"I uh…" Dan swished the cup a little as he stumbled for words "I honestly can't say I was expecting this many people."

Ramona laughed "Yeah I could kinda tell. But hey, dude don't worry about it. If you wanna head home I can ask Adam to drive you back, it's not a bi-"

"Nope" _yes please take me home _"No I got my ass out here so I'm trying to stay for at least an hour." Dan felt sick at the thought of staying here with a crowd of people, 95% of which he didn't know. But he was _not_ letting Adam drive him home. He needed a break; all his friends did. And hey, maybe it wouldn't be so bad…

Yeah okay that was a big fat lie right there.

"Aw fuck yes dude!" Ramona grinned "Aw man that's so great, I'm really glad you're staying" Dan laughed a bit as a tipsy Ramona tried to jump up to kiss him on the cheek, but each time she missed got more and more frustrated.

"Ramona do you want me to lean down?" He teased, his beer sloshing from his cup a little and wetting his hands.

Ramona's lips pursed. "No!" A pause "Okay yes you smug bastard shut up."

Dan chuckled and leant down to put his head down to her level. Ah the pains of being 6'3 with a 5'0 best friend. She leant up and he grimaced as he felt her leave a greasy mark of black lipstick on his jaw, but smiled as she pulled him in for a hug.

"You want me to grab you another drink? Something tells me lukewarm beer ain't your forte." Though the words were muffled against his chest (well, more like stomach) as she hugged him, Dan heard them like a chorus of angels. He pressed his head down into the wild mass of dark brown curls that was Ramona's hair

"Oh Ramona, you life saver. How would I live without you?"

She laughed and pulled away. "You wouldn't." And with an exaggerated wink, she sauntered off into the crowd; the only tell tail sign of her being her unruly head of hair. Think Hermione Granger on a bad hair day. He loved it.

Leaning against the wall, Dan observed the mob of people around him. There were couples making out, drunken people puking, people dancing. The bass of the music pounded through him. And yet…something dark and grey filled up Dan's gut, and stayed there; like cold water had been poured on him. He sighed and shut his eyes, leaning his head against the wall.

_Come on Dan; you can get through one party. Ramona's here, Adam's here, Nicola's here, Henry's here. Literally all your friends are here. It's okay, you're okay just…don't be an idiot. Don't freak out._

"Earth to Dan…Dannnniiieeelll…Dan you alright?" Dan opened his eyes to face a worried looking Ramona; her large brown eyes squinted at him, and her forehead crinkled with worry. In one hand she held a bottle of raspberry vodka. In the other, two shot glasses.

"Yeah I'm…yeah I'm cool 'Mona don't worry." He smiled at her motherly expression, and rolled his eyes when she looked like she was about to go on a troubled rant about 'Not wanting to pressure him.' Or that it was 'okay to not like crowds'. He didn't feel up to this right now, and so, he ruffled her hair.

"I-Oi!" she growled, her hands too full to push him off "Fuck off dude it's bad enough normally."

"It's not bad, it's lovely!" Ramona rolled her eyes and snaked herself away from his reach

"Yeah, real lovely if you're into bird nests and tumbleweeds. Anyway…" She raised the bottle in his direction and smirked "Who's up for a good old fashioned 'never have I ever'?"

Dan laughed, "Fuck yes. Can't wait to find out all the dirty things you've got up to since we last played"

"Oi!" A sharp kick of her foot to his shin made him laugh as she huffed at him "Shut up. Take a shot glass and let's play…asshat."

* * *

><p>"Alrighty Dan…never have I ever…gone to a gay or queer bar."<p>

Oh lord this was going to be a long night.

Dan poured himself a shot

* * *

><p>Dan did not count how many shots he took.<p>

Neither did Ramona.

That probably should have been a sign

* * *

><p>"Never havvvee I ever…uhm…had sex in a public place?" Dan mumbled, his lips against his shot glass even though he wasn't drinking.<p>

Ramona literally cackled, and downed the shot like a champ. And hey, she only dribbled a little bit on her shirt. Man, Dan liked Ramona.

"Oh my _GOD_ RAMONA!" Dan squealed, as he laughed and nearly fell over, which meant that he spilled a majority of his shot on the floor. He gasped dramatically "Oh no not my alcohols."

"Shhhh Daniel 'is a secret. Seecreets. Sex. Sexcret. SEXCRET!' Ramona shouted, taking a swig of vodka from the bottle before she giggled and lay down.

"Mona that's CHEATING. You're not supposed to drink FROM the bottle!"

Ramona giggled happily and tried to pull herself up from the floor. It didn't work. "Okie dokie Ramona's staying here now. Nigh night Daniel" She closed her eyes and giggled when a very drunk Dan fell down on top of her

"Noo Ramona you can't sleep here." Dan pleaded, though he slurred each word badly.

"Mm why not?"

"Because…because s'grounds not bed. People sleep in beds 'Mona. I like beds 'Mona. We should go to bed together."

Ramona laughed and pushed him off "Nooo…need to be way drunker for that Daniel. Stand up, then try to help me up without puking."

Dan wobbled but managed to get up all right "Me? Vomit? Nu uh, I think its was YOU that spewed all over my shoes last new years." He gave her his hand and she pulled herself up, managing bravely to stand up in her heels, even though she shook.

"Psshh come on, that was one time. You can't stomach bourbon for SHIT. I did a damn good job. " She put an arm around his waist and they stumbled forward, helped by the fact Dan leaned heavily against the wall.

"…Do you remember where Adam was?"

"Ugh…I uhm…talking to William wasn't he? The uh…the one. With the really nice face and uh….nice." Dan nodded to himself, and so Ramona nodded as well, pretending she understood what he said.

They stumbled blindly together through slightly less dense crowds of people than earlier, until they reached the couches and landed messily next to a very unimpressed and highly amused Adam.

"Aw look at my lil drunk princesses. I can smell a booze cabinet reeking off both of you."

"When did we drink a cabinet?" Ramona said curiously, and Dan shrugged.

"Lemme guess…Gin?"

"VODKA!" Dan said, a little too loudly and a little too excitedly. Adam facepalmed as Dan nearly tumbled off the seat trying to reach him. "I like vodka, it makes me happy and speak better-rer"

Adam raised an angled eyebrow "Yes definitely Dan, you are completely right. Do you two want me to drive you guys home?"

"Yes please Adam we'll love you forever." Ramona said, as she rolled on the couch to try and grab a part of Adam. She managed to clumsily hold his elbow.

"We'll LOVE you Adam." Dan added, nodding and then halting suddenly, as if that movement proved a little too much for his drunken body.

"Mm, both of you at once? Sorry dolls, I'm not really up for polyamorous relationships but HEY, me being me, I'll still drive your drunken asses back home. How's that sound?

Dan blinked slowly, his large eyes having trouble focusing on Adam.

"But whas polymore?" Ramona mumbled sleepily.

Adam sighed and pulled them both up "In the morning when you both have horrendous hangovers, I hope that you remember that I am the best thing that ever happened to you both. And for the love of god Dan if you puke in my car again I will sell your liver to the black market by Monday."

"Not much of it left to be honest." Dan mumbled.

* * *

><p>When Dan woke up, he begged death to come quickly and for him to be given a swift and graceful end. His head thudded, his stomach rolled and swirled and oh my god he needed water and greasy food but also maybe painkillers and fruit what the hell what the actual hell.<p>

Fucking Ramona.

He slowly (_very_ slowly) rose up out of his bed. He was still in his shirt from last night, but had been stripped from his jeans, shoes and socks. He groaned as he sat up, and another wave of nausea hit him like a brick. Rubbing his eyes, he blinked away sleep and tried to take in his surroundings. Though his phone was blinked insistently, everything else was fine. The phone could be dealt with later. For now, he needed a shower, water, something fattening and a thorough tooth brushing.

He also was desperate to both pee and vomit. Wonderful.

As the water from his shower washed away the stench of booze and sweat of his body, he let himself relax and rest his forehead against the shower's wall. _Never again_ Dan vowed, feeling drained both emotionally and physically from a party he had to get incredibly drunk at to enjoy properly. _Never again._

After vomiting after exiting the shower, brushing his teeth twice, and downing painkillers with small sips of water, Dan nibbled on some sliced pineapple, and relaxed on his bed. Today sounded like a fantastic 'Stay at home and order pizza while watching cheesy anime' kind of day. Now that was a party Dan could get behind.

His phone vibrated against his end table again, and (dreading the worst) he reached forward and plucked it up with the hand currently not covered in pineapple juice. He wiped his free hand on his pyjama shorts, typed in his password and looked at the new messages.

5 Messages

**2:34AM Saturday 17/1/14**

**Mona :P**: dannnyuuulllll I loves u osm uch bby stay s safe Adam s lookin after mes becausd e you needed, sleeps and I'm ddint nightsx

Daniel chuckled at his attempts to read what she had written. Bless Ramona, and bless her drunken self even more.

**3:00am Saturday 17/1/14**

**Adam (Punk Jesus)**: I just had to calm down a crying Ramona because she remembered that Sirius Black is dead this is the costs of alcohol Daniel I hope u remember this.

Attached was the most hilarious photo of Adam facepalming with Ramona in the background on the carpet; face first and spread out like a starfish. Screenshotted. If Ramona didn't think he'd be pulling this out at her next birthday, she seriously didn't know him.

**8:21am Saturday 17/1/14**

**Adam (Punk Jesus)**: Oh my god I have work today kill me now. If I do not get a coffee into my bloodstream in the next 10 seconds I am going to stab someone #ididntsleepuntil4amlastnight #becauseofurdrunkenasses #fucku

**12:54pm Saturday 17/1/14**

**Mona :P**: Sweet Jesus forgive me father for I have sinned plz just smite me now it will hurt less than this god fucking awful headache (get up you lazy ass x) (also wtf was I trying to say earlier god dammit Ramona get ur act together)

Behold; the people Dan Howell chose to be friends with. Oh how he loved them. There was still one unexplained though. It was an unknown number though. Sweet Jesus, Dan hoped to hell he didn't drunkenly give some douche his phone number or worse (shudder) _drunk hooked up with a random_. Oh god that was not his style, not at all. Please, oh please, be okay

**11:35am Saturday 17/1/14**

**Unknown Number**: Heyy uhm. So like, you accidentally typed the wrong number I think last night (morning?! .) and called me while pretty emotional and upset. I talked to you for a while but uh, yeah. You probably don't remember, you sounded pretty out of it (I think… oh no I hope I didn't just offend you) so eh, I guess I just wanted to text to check that you were okay and stuff? Idk you just sounded pretty worked up and yeah. Hope you're hangover isn't too bad anyway =^.^= -Phil (you're accidental therapist)

Oh my god he had drunk _emotional _dialled some random. Oh my god. Oh my _god._ What the _hell_ do you do in this situation?

Dan opened the keyboard on his phone, and began writing his reply.

**The two things that sparked my idea for this story was the fanfic 'A Finger Slip' (idk where it is anymore, it seems really hard to find) and the tumblr post of awkward first meetings (great ideas for your OWN fics people link is here:**

** post/101021230029/awkward-first-meetings-aus**


	2. 2am (Accidental) Therapy

**Guess who's back, back again. Theivydaggers back, tell a friend. By the way, though this story has this part of it in Phil's POV, I'm thinking most of it will be in Dan's POV. Oh well we'll see what happens.**

**Warnings for this chapter: Worked up phone calls about anxiety/introversion, reference to boozy activities and language.**

Phil was a strange man in many ways. Though 23 nearing 24, his plush animal obsession seemed to have only grown as he aged. Around his flat, a mismatched array of trinkets and nick knacks coated each surface. Though he loved indie rock and punk music, he had a soft spot for kpop and rap. His mind wasn't just in the clouds, it was in another world entirely, a world utterly and completely his own.

Currently, an equally strange yet unbelievably more charming man sat next to him on his couch shouting (to put it delicately) colourful language at the TV screen in front of him. Phil had met Pj through Uni, and had been taken aback by his wild and eccentric mind, obsession with graphic novels and comics, as well as all things mystical and space related. After one eventful day of Phil enthusiastically recounting the ending of an anime to one of his friends, he (accidentally of course) hit Pj across the jaw and for the first time in awhile had that 'Could-the-world-swallow-me-whole' feeling. Pj had cracked up laughing, and instantly they both took a liking to each other.

That liking was now being challenged by a particularly brutal game of Mario Kart.

The score: 2-1 to Pj. Phil let out a frustrated groan as Pj whooped and cheered as the times came up on the screen.

"Okay, you up for one more ass whopping?" Pj said, smirking cheekily at Phil's huff in response.

"You only won because of that fucking blue shell and you _know it_." Phil muttered back viciously, but manoeuvred his way back onto the main menu of the game.

"Ah, but the key word here is that I _won_." Pj said, and chuckled as Phil whipped around and shot him a venomous glare.

In response to his laughter Phil threw a cushion at his face. He smirked as Pj let out a surprised yelp.

* * *

><p>It was around midnight by the time that Pj had finally left his flat, muttering something about payback after Phil thrashed him in Mario Kart for the next three rounds. They exchanged goodbyes and hugs before parting ways, leaving Phil in the comfortable familiarity of his home.<p>

He let his head lean back against the shut door, his dark fringe falling in front of his eyes like a thick curtain. He needed a haircut pretty desperately. He needed to redye his roots; the dark auburn was coming back. He should really wash his dishes and clothes. He should continue workshopping his new idea for his project. He opened his eyes and wow, he should also _really_ clean up around the place.

Phil sighed and with a deft sweep of his hand pushed his fringe back to its normal place. With all the things he needed to do swirling around his mind he felt mentally exhausted. What he really wanted more than anything right now was to get out of his pants, eat some leftovers and go to sleep.

"Oh the woes of being me" Phil mumbled sarcastically to himself as he picked up thrown cushions and put them back onto their rightful seats. He sighed and let a tired smile cross his face.

_Come on Phil, it won't be too bad. If you do the dishes and put a wash on, and spend…lets say an hour on workshopping, you're allowed to re-watch the musical episode of Buffy._

* * *

><p>Phil woke with a start from his desk as his phone rang loud and clear. He shook his leaden head and looked around. He must have fallen asleep on his desk again. Groaning as he stretched and loosened some stiff joints in his neck, Phil reached blindly for his phone and looked at the time. 2:32am. The phone buzzed and chimed in his hand, but the number was unknown. Phil frowned slightly, but curiosity got the better of him and he answered.<p>

"Hello?"

On the other end of the line, someone (who sounded like a man) was panting heavily, occasionally letting out what sounded almost like a…sob?

"I…uh…hello? Who is this?"

The heavy breathing stopped, let out a confused sigh

"Adam?"

"Uh, no actually. I'm Phil."

Another pause

"But I called Adam." Phil noticed that the caller was slurring his words a little bit. He sighed.

"I think you called the wrong number. Would you like-hey are you alright?" The breathing quickened to the verge of hyperventilating, and the other side of the line muttered something under his breath

"Hey, man it's alright. Can…I mean…are you safe?"

There was a pause as the man took a deep breath "Uh huh."

"What's…What's your name?"

"I-I'm Dan."

"Hi Dan, I'm Phil...what's wrong?"

"I…I don't know. I just…I 'm really fucking drunk and everything feels bad inside and life is so big and so huge and we are so meaningless and I just feel really shitty and I'm trying really hard to stay calm talking to you right now but I'm so close to freaking out right now oh-oh god." Dan took in a sharp breath and let it out in a shuddering gasp "I'm so sorry I have no idea who you are I'm probably bothering you I'm sorry, shit I should just go-"

"No! No it's uh-It's okay. You're fine. Just…breathe. " Phil listened to Dan shakily inhale and exhale for awhile. He listened to the softened and calmer breathing on the other side of the line, and when it was sounding normal again, he started talking.

"It's okay y'know."

"Pardon?"

Phil fumbled for words as he tried to put what he thought into a sentence "Feeling small compared to the rest of the universe. Because we _are_ small. In all logical thinking we probably aren't very important. But you know what makes that okay? That we recognise this. How many other animals can identify that there is more to life then just life on earth? How many other animals continue to try and do what makes them happy and follow their passions even though they should feel small? How many other animals respect and acknowledge the utter…vastness of the universe? None. We're special like that I think. It's okay to be small as long as you embrace it." Phil let out a sigh "Well at least I think so sorry if I midn't dake any-wait midn't? Didn't. Didn't make any sense." Dan let out a soft chuckle and Phil frowned "Shut up I was poetic and beautiful for a minute there."

"I'm not sure my drunk self really followed you to be honest but it made me feel better anyways so…uh…thanks Phil."

Phil laughed "Jesus, how much did you drink."

Dan let out a soft groan "So much vodka. So much. Too many. Too much vodka. And beer, disgusting warm beer."

Phil laughed again, and Dan huffed back a little in amusement. "Please tell me you took some aspirin or drank some water or did something?"

"I drank milk. Does that count?"

"Probably not but let's pretend it does." Phil paused "Do you want me to hang up so you can call uh, Adam?"

"I…I don't know. I like hearing you talk. You have a nice voice. And you're nice to me. Can I keep talking to you?"

Phil laughed a little "Yeah, yeah sure. So is Adam your friend or…"

"Boyfriend?!" Dan cackled down the line "Oh jeez, yeah I think Adam would literally cry if he was dating me. We're not- I mean he's- we-I'm…nothing is happening between us. I mean don't get me wrong he's a good-looking guy and he's great and lovely but uh-" Dan let out an awkward laugh mid ramble "He's just a good friend."

"Oh! I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable I just thought I might…"

"You, uh, you didn't make me uncomfortable. Just…I don't know…people don't usually assume us." Dan let out a little huff of breath, which Phil found for some reason very endearing.

There was a quiet that fell over both of them, and they stopped talking for a minute and heard each other breathing.

"Phil?"

"Yes?"

"What do you look like?"

Phil laughed, "What do you _think_ I look like."

"Hmph. Tall…freckly. Maybe some tattoos on your arms?" Phil nearly let out a bark of laugh at that. Yeah right, him willingly getting a needle in him was unlikely at best. "Darkish hair. Probably pale. Green eyes. Tall, freckly…"

"Dan you're repeating things." Phil sighed; a fond note in his voice

"Oh…did I get some things right?" Dan asked hopefully

"Some…but I'm not telling you."

"You're so meeeaaaan Phil. Now I will not know FOREVER." Dan whined as Phil chuckled

"Well to be fair Dan, you could be a murderer for all I know…"

"But I'm _not_-"

"That is EXACTLY what a murderer would say!"

Dan stopped for a moment and then breathed, with a note of horror "Oh god _am_ I a murderer?"

Phil giggled as a drunken Dan kept muttering

"I can't remember killing anyone so that's probably a good sign that I'm not…or maybe I'm just a very useless murderer?"

"Or maybe you're so good that you yourself can't remember." Phil teased

"Oh no you're hurting my brainbox, stop it. I, Dan Howell, am not a murderer." Dan exclaimed, and then repeated in a softer, more soothed voice "I am not a murderer."

"…Howell?" Phil repeated, incredulously

"Oh no."

"Your last name is HOWELL?!"

* * *

><p>They talked for roughly two hours, varying from Phil calming him down when he started working himself up again, to finding out more about one another, to talking about their problems, to asking about what the other looked like and where they were from, in a massive loop that went around. Phil had no doubt in his mind that Dan would forget most, if not all they talked about.<p>

But Phil held onto each scrap of information that Dan gave him. He just seemed so…Phil didn't know, but deep in his gut, he felt the need to remember as much as he could about the guy. No matter what he did the next day, Dan was in his mind. When he made breakfast he remembered Dan's obsession with cereal. When he chose his outfit for the day he remembered Dan's love of skinny jeans and pretty black and white geometrics. His mind was a disc, looping around and around back to Dan.

When he sent him a text to check up on him the next day, his stomach was wound in thick knots.

When his phone finally chimed, he unashamedly picked it up and read the text back immediately. He smiled a bit at the message back.

* * *

><p><strong>11:38am <strong>

**Dan:** I'm not sure what I said but if I said anything ridiculous or tried to hit on you I am so sorry. Thanks for responding to a drunken call. What did I say exactly? Haha!

**11:38am**

**Phil: **Do you usually hit on people?

**11:40am**

**Dan:** You'd be surprised

**11:40am**

**Phil**: Well then honestly I feel a bit insulted. You didn't try to hit on me. We just talked about stuff and things and thoughts and feelings

**11:40am**

**Dan:** …

**11:41am**

**Dan: **I honestly don't know if that's better or worse.

**11:42am**

**Phil: **Worse. I didn't get hit on. :'(

**11:42am**

**Dan: **HAHAHA! Sorry Phil, I didn't realize how important this was to you :P

**11:43am**

**Phil: **I might not even answer your question anymore THAT'S how offended I am.

**11:44am**

**Dan: ** OH PHIL, YOU ARE THE SUN AND THE STARS AND THE MOON AND EVERYTHING ELSE. PLEASE, BE MINE :3

**Dan: **literally want to kms after everything that I just typed you better fucking appreciate it

**11:45am**

**Phil: **Hmm, I'll answer your questions, but I won't be yours

**11:46am**

**Dan:** :( why?

**11:48am**

**Phil: **I am a lady of ~**class**~ and ~**virginity**~, you cannot simply woo me with words

**11:49am**

**Dan: **You made me snort out pineapple juice

**11:49am**

**Phil: **Well then you are obviously not a lady

**12:02pm**

**Phil: **Do you remember me at all?

**12:03pm**

**Dan: **I want to

**And end of chapter. Sorry this was more of a filler but ehhh, I needed to finish this monster of a chapter. Reviews make my day so yeah. Stay tuned for more! **


	3. Who is Phil?

**Thank you all so much for the wonderful bursts of responses in the last chapter! I'm really happy you guys seem to be enjoying the story and the characters as much as I do. Which characters are your favourite so far? Dan, Phil, Ramona, Adam or PJ? I'm really interested in knowing! This story is probably NOT going to include their YouTube life, because I think that might complicate the flow of this story, sorry for disappointing! –Theivydaggers**

"You have got to be kidding me."

The shop was warm, and Dan listened to the whir of the coffee machine in the background. The Spoonerism was a small coffee shop near a small little alley, in a small little area of London. The place was painted in warm hues of cream, soft orange, and beige. Mismatching couches were placed with some care around the shop, and patterned rugs and quilts draped the chairs. Though it was small it was never slow business since their coffee was always heavenly, and the shop itself seemed to emit warmth and light.

Adam worked at this shop. He stared at Dan from behind the coffee machine, his face a mix of disbelief, disappointment and amusement. "No fucking way are you actively messaging a stranger you messaged drunk."

Dan shrugged, before he sunk a little further into a slightly lumpy but very comfy blue couch "He seems really nice. I like talking to him."

"Yeah sure, but what if he's actually a serial killer?" Adam said, as he put a jug of milk into the frother. "Or a spy? CIA agent? Cannibal?"

"I highly doubt he is a cannibal Adam."

"Oh yeah, so I just have to worry about the CIA spy who is also a serial killer instead. Fan-fucking-tastic."

Adam had worked at The Spoonerism for two years, and the fact that he hadn't been fired was actually kind of incredible. He was constantly swearing loudly at everything, flirted with every co worker, had on _two_ occasions threatened to murder customers after they yelled at him, and usually got distracted by friends and forgot customers. Dan's theory to why he still was there was the fact that Adam was very handsome, and brought in a number of admirers who bought drinks just to get close to him (he once got nine phone numbers in a day).

Dan could see Adam's appeal. Long dark blondey brown hair that he tied in a messy bun, tanned skin and deep-sea blue eyes, sleeves of black ink tattoos, a turquoise septum ring and hey, his body was pretty good to. When they had first met, Dan had been struck by his looks and charming smile, before realizing he was a sarcastic, snarky, utterly inappropriate prick. He loved him a lot.

"I literally can't with you right now. This is ridiculous. What if he starts getting, I don't know, creepy or whatever? What if he sends you dick pics Dan? _No one_ wants dick pics." Adam said, rather loudly and Dan bit back laughter as an old lady in a chair across the room let out a shocked 'Good grief!'

"I don't know man, what about if someone is sexting? Wouldn't that warrant an ok on the dick?"

"Dan, I say this plainly and as a male myself. Dicks are lovely when wanted, when the people involved are both ready to jump on each other. But if a picture of a dick is sent to you, they just look like sad sea cucumbers. And those things are fucking-are you laughing at me?"

Dan giggled and put his head on the table in front of him, his body shaking with mirth. "Did you-did you just call a penis a sad sea cucumber?"

"Tell me I'm wrong." Adam muttered, as he sprinkled chocolate powder on three coffees, and handed two to amused customers in line, before he brought Dan's coffee over. "Head off the table Dan, you're going to get dandruff everywhere."

Dan sat up almost immediately and glared at Adam "I don't have dandruff."

"Oh baby I know, I just wanted you to get up and you're much more amusing when offended…cuter as well" Adam smirked as Dan sighed and rolled his eyes, picking up his coffee.

"…Prick."

"Oh you love me."

Dan made a motion with his free hand. "Ehhh…"

"Whatever. So anyway…random guy you're texting, is he fuckable?"

Dan felt a flush of heat as colour rose in his cheeks at Adam's bluntness. "I-er. I don't know."

Adam looked at him for a second, unimpressed. "You don't _know_?"

Dan put the coffee mug down and fiddled with the napkins corner. "I, well…I don't know what he looks like."

"…You are not helping you're non serial killer spy theory here Dan. Wait," Adam sat down on the leather armchair on the other side of the table "You're telling me you have no idea what he looks like, at _all_."

Dan looked awkwardly at his coffee "Yep."

"Do you know his age?"

"Well, I mean, he sounded around my age on the phone."

Adam ran his hand over his slight stubble in frustration. "Please tell me you know his name?"

"Phil."

"Phil…?"

"I don't know his last name."

Adam laughed "Of course not. Thank god Phil isn't a common name! Oh wait, _it is_."

"What were you expecting his name to be, fucking Sherlock?"

"See that would just be a cruel thing to do to your child. I'm a nice person Dan,"

"I am yet to benefit from that…" Dan said, under his breath

"I would never wish for that upon someone." Adam continued, as though he had never been interrupted. Maybe in his head he wasn't. Adam sighed and flicked Dan's arm to get his attention. "Just…don't completely invest yourself in this guy alright? I don't want you getting hurt or wronged or eaten or stabbed or something."

Dan smiled a little and said, slightly teasingly "I know. I won't. I'm a big boy now Adam."

Adam laughed loudly, head thrown back. "Yeah! Of course Dan, how could I forget? You sure are a _big boy_" He winked before he let out a little giggle as he calmed down and smiled at Dan "You know what I mean though, I'm just looking out for you man."

"Of course." Dan smiled and took a sip of coffee, before he raised an eyebrow at Adam, who's eyes followed the movement of his cup "Would you like some Adam?"

"God bless your soul Dan Howell." Adam said, as he picked up the coffee cup and drank. He sighed as he pulled away "God damn I _am_ good. That coffee is like sex."

Dan giggled "Better than sex?"

"Oh yeah, _better_ than sex…though the end results the same."

"Hmm?"

"Having to wipe away warm liquid from your lips, usually cream coloured."

Dan cackled and took the coffee cup off Adam "Jesus Christ you are awful."

"You love it."

* * *

><p>Dan didn't actually think he'd still be in contact with Phil. I mean, how many people do you keep in contact with once you messaged the wrong number...<em>drunk<em>. But after they messaged back and forth yesterday, he didn't want the contact to stop. He liked Phil. They had a lot in common. He was smart and quite funny, and he seemed like a nice guy.

Seemed.

That was the problem though wasn't it? He didn't know Phil. As much as he wanted to pretend he did, all he knew were base facts. He knew what food Phil liked and what TV shows he watched and all the other random crap that he liked or disliked. But that didn't mean he knew him. He didn't even know what he _looked _like as Adam oh so eloquently pointed out. The talk he had with Adam about Phil that was supposed to make him feel like 'Haha isn't this weird and nice and funny?' left him feeling frustrated and annoyed about how little he knew. Who _was_ Phil? Is his name even Phil?

Dan sighed and re read the texts from the day before. His name was probably Phil. If you're going to make up a name you make up something out of the ordinary.

Or maybe you don't. Maybe you go super ordinary so that no one thinks that you made up your name.

But why would you lie about your name to a drunken person?

"His name is Phil." Dan muttered sternly under his breath, as he jammed his freezing hands into his bulky grey coat. He shouldn't be focusing on things like Phil's name. He should be focusing on non-trivial things. Does he have a family? How old is he? Is he in Uni? Is he in a full time job? Is he married? Does he have kids? What on EARTH does he look like?

As his thoughts swirled, he let out a startled yelp when his phone buzzed and chimed annoyingly. He was both frustrated further, and eased considerably at the sight of Phil's name as the text alert.

**4:12pm**

**Phil: **Is it weird that I really felt like texting you?

**4:12pm**

**Dan: **No, cause I was just feeling that as well. Unless we're BOTH weird.

**4:13pm**

**Phil: **heh, maybe.

**4:14pm**

**Dan: **Uh, Phil, do you mind if I get kinda intense for a moment?

**4:14pm**

**Phil: **nope! Go ahead

**4:15pm **

**Dan: **Tell me about you. But not like 'I like Harry Potter and Buffy' but more like 'my full name is blah blah and my family was like this and I'm this many years old etc'

**4:16pm**

**Phil: **heh, where did this come from?

**4:17pm**

**Dan: **I don't know you. At all. I really want to pretend I do.

**4:17pm**

**Phil:** Okay.

**4:21pm**

**Phil: **My name is Phil Lester. I'm 24 years old. I have an older brother. I was born in Northern England, but now live in London. I go to Uni and I'm aiming for my masters of Arts in Video Postproduction with Specialization in Visual Effects. My family is lovely. I don't know what else you want to know. I have a scar on my knee from skipping. I broke my nose when I was little because when we were playing follow the leader I was the leader and stopped in front of a wall and everyone walked forward anyway so I smashed my face in the wall. I live by myself and I don't like that. Uhm, I don't really know what else to say. Was this enough?

**4:27pm**

**Dan: **Yeah…Yeah, that's enough, thank you. Can I ask one more thing though?

**4:27pm**

**Phil: **Go ahead

**4:28pm**

**Dan: **What do you look like?

**4:28pm**

**Phil: **Ah, that's where I'm going to stop you :P

**4:29pm**

**Dan: **What? Why?

**4:30pm**

**Phil: **It's not cause I'm a 50 year old man don't worry. Or because I have some horrible face. Then again I might. I like to think I don't

**4:31pm**

**Dan: **I'm sure you don't Phil. So why?

**4:31pm**

**Phil: **It's more exciting it? The mystery. I have no idea what you look like, you have no idea about me, but idk it's just…we still want to talk to each other even though we don't know.

**4:32pm**

**Dan: **heh, I guess you're right. Can you tell me what I got right though? When I guessed how you looked

**4:33pm**

**Phil: **I am very tall. I may trample you :P

**4:33pm**

**Dan: **What if I told you I was very tall as well? What if I trample YOU?

**4:34pm**

**Phil: **...shit XD

* * *

><p>As he lay in his bed, Dan thought. He thought about a lot of things in bed. He thought about the stars and the universe and work and friends and the past and the future and himself. But tonight his thoughts stuck on Phil.<p>

Phil.

Phil Phil Phil.

He liked repeating the word in his head, liked as he tried it out and tested how it sounded. _Phil. Phil Lester._

A part of him wanted to look up the name and see what came up, see whether he could find photos of him or find out what he wrote or thought on things. But the idea felt wrong…off. Almost like it would be cheating.

He turned in his bed, and faced his light. The lamp was made of circles of amber. It let out a soft, warm, fractured gold light. He looked at the swirls and blurs of light on his dark walls, and likened it to Van Gogh's Starry Night.

Phil reminded him of the Starry Night as well. Layer upon layer of paint, seemingly random strokes of lines. But when looked at properly showed a finished painting of something wonderful. Dan wondered if Phil liked artwork, if he liked Van Gogh, if he likened himself to something with layers and colours and texture and a story. His head felt foggy and drowsy with sleep, his body warm and languid. And when his eyes grew heavy, blurring the light on the walls into circles and Van Gogh's stars, he imagined the burnt orange light that drowned the walls had the same brightness and colour of Phil.

**And the chapter is done. I'm really enjoying this story, and I'm really glad you all seem to be enjoying it as well. Reviews make my day about 5000 times better. I hope you're all doing well.**


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